Thursday, November 5, 2009

Yay

Some notable sayings from a citizen of the ozone layer.
  1. Teachers never have an empty class.
    They always have at least two pupils.
  2. Dentists are always sad.
    They look down in the mouth.
  3. Eye doctors live to a ripe old age.
    They dilate.
  4. Chiropractors are the hardest working profession.
    They work their fingers to the bone.
  5. The profession I trust least is podiatrist.
    They get their knowledge from footnotes.
  6. Lawyers are buried in 10-ft. graves because they are really nice guys down deep.
  7. Mail carriers don't die -- they lose their zip.
  8. Professional bowler -- brought up in an alley.
  9. Dead parachutist -- nothing opened up for him.
  10. Violinist couldn't succeed.
    He was too high strung.
  11. The trapeze artist couldn't get into the swing of things.
  12. The magician was a huge success but he suddenly vanished.
  13. Ideal couple:
    He had money to burn -- she was a perfect match.
  14. Cleaners work for a tidy sum.
  15. Politicians build pies in the sky using our dough.
  16. Diplomat -- when it comes to the parting of the ways, he uses both.